Getting and giving constructive feedback

How to work with a partner to give and get good speech evaluations

We learn through feedback. Yet one of the most problematic aspects about public speaking is getting it. Not just any old feedback, but useful, constructive criticism we can work with.

Being told you're fantastic is flattering. Being told you've got a long way to go, or worse, is disheartening. However, neither statement lets you know which aspects of speech making to focus on to improve, or how to.

To get the evaluation we need to develop our skills we either have to be part of a public speaking group (class) or, find a partner to work with.

Teaming up with someone is a good option if you don’t want to join a group. It’s one potentially benefiting both of you. The idea is that you take turnabout listening and evaluating each other. Discussion helps you identify specific aspects to focus an evaluation on.

For example:

• If you're working on improving transitions, (moving smoothly from one point to the next), that's what your partner will pick up on.

• If it's eye contact and body language, their feedback will focus on that.

• Or it could be how you manage to integrate using power-point slides and a whiteboard. The possibilities are endless.

What is a useful evaluation?

To be thoroughly useful make sure the evaluation you give and get goes further than a mere statement. For example, someone telling you that you could work on getting rid of stock phrases or fillers, (ums and ahs). Having them brought to you attention is good, but you need more than that. You need the tools to help you get rid of them. This is the HOW step.

Providing the HOW, the way to improve

What do you do to work on the problem? What is the best way to get rid of fillers? How do you avoid resorting to habitual or stock phrases?

If you don't have ready answers, say so and offer to do the research to find them. You do not have to be an expert, but you do need to be willing to learn, and work for your partner. That is what builds trust: the foundation of a mutually good working relationship.

What is covered in a thorough speech evaluation?

It’s a mix of content: what you spoke about, how you structured it, the effectiveness of your introduction and conclusion, the time you took… and delivery: how you spoke - loudly, softly, quickly, how you used body language - eye contact, facial expression, movement, how well you handled integrating slides into your presentation, how…

There are multiple aspects!

Click speech evaluation for a complete list and a link to a printable evaluation form. The form is one I use and has a standard 5-point rating scale.

Checkpoints for giving and receiving feedback.

Before you begin working with a partner take time to discuss what you both want to achieve and how you’re going to do that.

Giving and receiving feedback with an open mind and good grace can be challenging.

It’s tempting to become defensive when you’re on the receiving end of feedback pointing out something it would be better to change. It’s also tempting, if you’re the person giving it, to either skip over difficult areas or minimize them for fear of causing hurt.

To be useful to each other feedback needs to be given and received with each other’s best interests in mind. My checkpoint lists below are to help.

Checkpoints for giving feedback.

• Will my feedback benefit the person I'm giving it to?
  For example - why comment on an aspect that is out of someone's control to change?
  For instance, the weather, a person clattering in late, a fire engine with its siren blaring that temporarily halts the speaker because nobody can hear a thing…

• Are my comments specific, and descriptive of behavior?
  For example, I really liked the way you handled the Q & A session. Asking for clarification to be sure you’ve understood the question clearly before attempting to answer is a great strategy.

• Am I addressing what I was asked to, or given permission to comment on?
  If you were asked to focus on vocal variety, (how they used their voice), and you launch into a spiel about how they handled the ‘show and tell’ segment of their presentation, you’re off target. Even if you have useful things to say.

• Am I talking for myself and about what I saw and heard and how I responded? Or have I assumed I know what everybody else thinks and feels about the speaker's presentation?

Checkpoints for receiving challenging feedback.

• Listen with an open mind rather than leaping to defend yourself. (I know from direct experience that's often easier said than done.)
  
  If you're new to receiving feedback there's a temptation to immediately feel inadequate, or a failure at the suggestion that some aspects of your presentation/speech could be worked on. That's a temptation to side-step. It is not your friend!

  
  If you get hooked in by the lure of the insecure-not-good-enough-low-self-esteem blues, you'll end up feeling sorry for yourself rather than learning something useful and new. It's OK to feel vulnerable but not helpful to block or close down.

• Feedback is not criticism of you, or a statement about your worth as a human being. It's about your presentation - what you did well, and what you can improve on.

  
  Remember too, that it comes from an individual. It is their opinion. They are commenting on how they experienced your presentation. What they say is not necessarily everybody's opinion.

• Ask for more information if there is something you don't understand.

Here’s that link again to find out more about what is included in a formal speech evaluation, and a printable speech evaluation form for your own use.

Until next week,
Go well,
Susan

PS. If you found this useful, feel free to share it and click the ❤️ button so more people can discover it on Substack. 🙏Thank you.