Handling public speaking panic attacks

What to do when the butterflies in your stomach turn into stomping, snorting elephants

Let's get something straight. There's a massive difference between being scared or nervous before getting up to speak in public and having a full-blown panic attack.

In the first state, being nervous means that you have butterflies in your stomach and a generally heightened sense of awareness. You might have to visit the bathroom prior to presenting but shortly after you begin speaking those butterflies are soaring, in flight together. You’re on a high. Cloud nine, here I come. (What was that fuss about?)

However, if you're attacked by panic those butterflies turn into a herd of rampaging, stomping, snorting elephants. And once unleashed, they’re almost impossible to stop. When the attack is finally over the exhaustion is total and its residue, fear and shame, clings.

To push someone to get on with it, to buck up their ideas, without giving them the support and genuine understanding they need, compounds an already difficult situation.

Panic attacks and heart attacks feel similar

A full-blown panic attack can mimic a severe heart attack and truly convince the person suffering from it, that they are desperately ill, if not dying. I am not exaggerating. If you asked at your local hospital how many people were admitted for suspected heart attacks or other forms of extreme physical distress that turned out to be panic attacks you would be amazed.

Preparing to tackle panic attacks: decisions to make

So, what do you do for yourself, or someone else who responds to public speaking in this way?

One: do you really want the challenge of changing?

The first decision to make is whether you, or they, really want to take on the challenge. Because there is going to be one! There are a whole lot of deeply ingrained mental, emotional and physical responses to the trigger situation (in this instance public speaking) that will need patient retraining.

To help you understand, think of a habit you want to get rid of. For instance, if you’ve regularly smoked tobacco, or vaped, and stopped, you'll know the degree of commitment and persistence required to make the change. You'll also know how sneaky-devious those patterns of addictive thinking and behaving become once they are under threat!

Two: stopping identifying as a victim

The second decision involves making a very difficult mental shift and that is, regardless of what has previously happened, to stop seeing yourself as a victim. Victims are passive. They try to avoid unpleasant scenes and sensations but all the time they are waiting for the big one to catch them.

When you can see yourself as capable of change, however small or fleeting, some of that panic attack power is lessened and the balance shifts from ‘I can't’ to ‘I can’. ‘I can’, ‘I will’ and ‘I am’ are positive, active and present states of being and within them there is no room for 'victim' thinking.

Three: finding and putting in place a management program

And the third step is to put a management program in place.

As a young person I evolved my own. I learnt through trial what worked and what failed.

Despite the fear that sent my heart racing, caused fainting fits, chest pains, and barely controllable nausea I wanted to act, to be on stage in plays. You can't speak if you're trying not to vomit, and you can't move properly if you're literally shaking in your shoes. Desire and determination pushed me through.

Here is what worked. There is a caveat though. I know that what was good for me will not necessarily be so for anyone else.

You’ll need to experiment, to try different things and keep those that do work. Discard those that don't and, GIVE IT TIME!

Beginning strategies

1. Small steps first. Don't try a speech in front of 3000 straight off. Get there in increments.
   Begin simply. Speaking up at meetings. Starting a conversation with a stranger on your bus on the way to work, joining a public speaking group.

2. Disown panic attacks. Try calling them something else rather than 'mine' or 'my' because every time you use those words you bind those attacks more closely to yourself.

3. Practice, practice and practice some more. The more I knew my stuff the less room there was for fear to sneak in.

4. Breathe. Learn what good breathing feels like. I realized I held my breath. Holding your breath for a prolonged time makes you feel faint. The more frightened I felt, the more shallow my breathing became...
   It was a circle broken only when I consciously learned to check my own breathing.

5. Monitoring my thinking and specifically negative self-talk about being stupid, silly, over-sensitive, blah, blah, blah...It had to go and be replaced with acknowledgement of positive achievements, no matter how small. (See the brag list solution.)

What do you do if you witness a panic attack?

You can help by:

• removing the person from the situation that triggered it. If you can, lead them away without fuss.

• keeping calm. If you feel frightened that adds to the fear already causing havoc in them.

• ringing medical services. This is necessary if you don't know the person and/or are unable to accurately judge what the collapse has been caused by.

• if needed and possible, lying the person down. Make them comfortable with a pillow and a blanket.

• holding their hands, meeting their eyes - letting them know you are there for them

• breathing consciously. Your example will help encourage the person to do that for themselves.

• being non-judgmental in your comments

• when it's over encouraging them to see they can, if they choose to, find a way through it

Click the link for more useful strategies to help deal with public speaking panic attacks

That’s it for this week!
Thanks for reading. It’s appreciated.
Take care,
Susan

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