You know the one. Is it acceptable? Ever? When?
Would you use that F-word speaking in public?
There are increasingly numerous examples of people who do. Search the 'F-word and public speaking' and you'll find a slew of interesting discussions raising every shade of 'YES', 'NO' and 'MAYBE' over its acceptability.
While opinions vary over the rights or wrongs of using the word there was one area where most agreed. That is, saying it gratuitously was not acceptable. Habitually peppering speech with f*ck this, f*ck that and f*cketty something else, pleased very few. This is interpreted as either trying too hard to be cool, or laziness. Neither are complimentary.
I think context is everything. F*ck is most commonly used as an intensifier or to show disdain for something.
If I stub my toe hard or accidently delete a file without saving it and I'm by myself, I'm highly likely to cuss a bit. Similarly, if I strongly disagree with the stance of politicians on varying issues important to me, that word and compound phrases using it, might be said, privately.
But when I'm speaking in public, I don't use it. And I don't for several reasons.
One is not wishing to offend my audience, and another is wanting them to listen to my message. If I swear while delivering it at least half of them will focus on that and stop thinking about what I'm trying to share with them. It will be a communication block rather than an enhancement.
Yet another reason is an echo from my childhood: faint but still there, nevertheless. It’s the voice of my mother, saying those who habitually swore were either 'show-offs' or had limited vocabularies. The way she said it I knew both conditions were pitiable.
'Showing off' was attention seeking behavior demonstrating low self-esteem and the need to inflate it by playing big. On the other hand, a limited vocabulary was a woeful state denoting someone who for whatever reason had little education, or desire for it.
There is some truth there. Swearing simply to shock or create a scene is childish, and swearing because you have no ready alternative words to convey surprise, pain, love or anything else, is a type of poverty.
That aside, I can see and hear myself as a young person trying out those risky words because irrespective of what my mother said, they were tempting. I wanted the taste of their power in my mouth, and I wanted to impress.
On one memorable occasion I entirely miscued who I was speaking to. Instead of admiration for being bold and daring, the response I got was revulsion.
Apparently, I was not clever. I was a girl with a potty mouth, and I hated it. It was humiliating and a very good lesson.
Years later when I was teaching my office was next to a busy student corridor. I often overheard conversations featuring the f*ck word in multiple grammatical positions, demonstrating a flexibility worthy of an Olympian gymnast.
A typical exchange went something like this:
"F*ck, I've got f*cking English next and I've haven't done my f*cking homework. It was total f*ckwittage anyway! What the f*ck am I going to do? She'll absol-f*cking-lutely kill me. I'm f*cked! F*ck it!"
It was déjà vu: simultaneously a little sad, and wryly funny. Sad because they were trying so hard, like I had been, and funny because any word used repeatedly becomes ridiculous. Its value is diminished to placeholder status - a filler.
If you don't believe me, try it in the privacy of your own home. Listen to yourself. Can you take what you are hearing seriously?
What do you think about the f-word’s usage? Tell us in the comment section below.
We know it’s dropped in impromptu rather than scripted speech. The instances making headlines have been spontaneous responses, blurts bypassing conscious intervention. (See this Wikipedia link for more on the F-word: its history and usage. Warning - If you are offended by swear words, please do not open the link.)
That’s it for this week.
Hope the gallop toward the end of year break is not too hectic for you.
Susan
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I had the same experience in the classroom. Students -- actually cadets in my case -- knew that using profanity was a sign of disrespect so they kept it to the hallways and barracks. Thanks for responding.
I would never use it. In some eyes, using profanity diminishes the speaker. And I agree that using profanity suggests a limited vocabulary and lack of control. Maybe it's okay with the majority of your audience but you can be sure that at least some people will find it offensive.